MILE 9 "Keep it Simple"

 

LOCATION: The Marina District

 

 

IAN

(At a Marina District bar, counting unhatched chickens)

 

I'm going to be so rich that I won't have to spell. I'll get somebody else to do it for me. I won't have to pretend to be nice to people I don't like. I won't even need to take a dump anymore. I'll just pay somebody with a hose… to suck the crap right out of my ass. And they'd do it too! I'll never have to go to the toilet for myself again. That's how stinkin’ rich I'll be... Oh please, not the freakin’ news!

(He grabs remote and changes the channel)

Let’s just keep it simple... Beer and sports. Suds and blood. That's why we're all here isn't it? We don't want anything to do with reality. C'mon we're supposed to be celebrating! Another round for all my new friends here. Where was I? Oh yes. When my tech .com goes public tomorrow. I can't tell you how much I'll be worth… But it'll be a lot. Of course my ex-wife'll get half… God she was hot… Met her over at that supermarket, in the marina, who knew? Oh well, shopping carts that pass in the night. The nineties were good to me. It was like having a license to steal. But now we're past the "naughties" and the investors are getting more, ya know savvy. But hell, if you can fake a good business plan and promise them you'll turn a profit, eventually… maybe. But it helps if you actually make something. Doesn't matter what… could be digi-widgets. Hardware, software, vaporware who cares? You can still make millions… The secret? I’ll let ya in on it… it’s not caring what other people think about you. Just look out for number one and the bottom line. If somebody gets in your way. You just shove 'em aside. (To the whole bar)
Hey, my voice is just as important as the next guy. I deserve to be heard because this is a free country, bro. Right? (Back to his "new friend")
As long as I remember who my friends are. And contribute to them accordingly. This bubble is never gonna burst we're looking at a new digital-fiscal renaissance... Obscene amounts of cash. Woot, woot! Sure it's all on paper now… But come tomorrow morning… BANG! Just watch that IPO rocket take off! And when the big toy boys want to buy me out. That'll be fine by me… I'll just name the price.  And move on. Right? Ya know what I’m sayin’. Hey, one more round for my all my new friends at the bar, it's on me… 'cause that's the kind of guy I am.

 

He drinks...